We often spend most of our lives assuming that relationships are something you can only learn through experience and trial and error.
They didn’t look like something to study for.
But it turns out that that perception is wrong.
The ability to be a good partner and friend isn’t something you’re born with – it’s an acquired skill that we can all brush up on from time to time.
After all, there are so many factors that go into how we operate in relationships, from past baggage to personal communication styles, and the more you understand, the better equipped you will be to truly connect with others and present yourself to others.
We do not recommend buying your partner a book on how to build a healthier relationship this Valentine’s Day. Chocolate or flowers are likely to give the best results.
But just in case you feel something amiss while on vacation, we’ve compiled a list of books to help you and your partner better discuss frustrations, improve your sex life, and deal with serious arguments. Just ensure a solid internet connection to enable easier downloading or online reading. Consider Cox since it caters to the bilingual consumers of the United States as well through Cox Communications en Español.
Read on to find the best books you can find:
1. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
With exciting psychological insights, quizzes, and examples, Dr. Amir Levin and Rachel Heller to understand the three attachment styles, identify your own and recognize the styles of others so you can find the right partners or improve existing relationships.
This book explains John Bowlby’s extensive research on attachment theory in an easy-to-understand format to help readers identify their own attachment styles and understand their attachment-based needs.
The book also includes several exercises and skills to help readers be more secure in their relationships.
2. When Sorry isn’t enough: Making Things Right with those you Love by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas
Even in the best of circumstances, we screw up. We say and do things we later regret. Therefore, we must do everything right. But just saying you’re sorry isn’t enough. This is just the first step on the road to recovery.
In this book, Gary Chapman teams up with Jennifer Thomas to help you on your path to rebuilding your relationship. Real healing comes when you learn:
Regret: “I’m sorry.”
Take responsibility: “I was wrong.”
Do it right: “How can I do it right?”
Change of plan: “I will take steps to prevent a recurrence.”
Ask for forgiveness: “Can you forgive?”
Don’t let the pain linger or the wounds fester. Start your healing journey today and learn how a meaningful apology can make your friendship, family, and marriage stronger than ever.
3. All about Love by Bell Hooks
Love is not as simple as it appears in the movies. It is elusive, difficult, and requires hard work to maintain. Many are cynical about this, and rightly so.
But there is hope. That’s why I really appreciate All About Love: New Visions by Bell Hooks.
This is just the book you need to see that your illusions about love that make it so hard come from society. It will also show you how to correct these beliefs in order to improve your relationship with yourself, your partner, and everyone around you.
The only problem here is the definition of the word “love”. Just looking at the emotional side is not enough to have a healthy relationship. We need to refocus on loving other people. It is the verb of love that heals broken hearts.
Many theorists and psychologists recognized this important idea before its author. They all believe in the same thing, that love continually promotes spiritual growth in ourselves and others. If you want to improve relationships, think about how you can better care for others than just love them.
4. Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
On the surface, Hold Me Tight is couples therapy. Originally published in 2008, the book is intended for couples who can read together on their own, and its approach, Emotionally Focused Therapy, is used by many family therapists.
Let me take a close look at relationships, especially romantic relationships, through the lens of attachment theory. So in a conflict between partners, it is not only about “who did what to whom?” or “What is not working in our communication dynamics?” or even “What are the specific challenges and what specific trade-offs might work?”
Instead, the couple should directly address the connection between them and find ways to recognize and appreciate the need for a reliable connection with each other. In the language of the model in this book, this is a face-to-face approach.
Relationships require knowing yourself in addition to knowing other people. With enough reflection, introspection, and focus on your own feelings, you can begin to strengthen romantic relationships, family relationships, friendships, and even relationships at work. This list of books will help you do just that!